There are two types of distraction that I look at as a coach. We are involuntarily distracted by our thoughts and environment. These are things like daydreaming or notifications on our digital devices. The other type of distraction is what we intentionally engage in because we don’t like how we feel. This can be feelings such as anxiety or stress. When I used to struggle with depression I would even distract myself when things were really good because I was overwhelmed by emotional highs as well as lows. We all get distracted from time to time but it is the intentional distractions we engage in that can disrupt our lives.
Sometimes the actions we take are more about distracting ourselves so that we feel better rather than actually dealing with the sources of our stress or anxiety. This is a point that often comes up when I work with people on productivity. Some people will keep themselves busy on tasks but not those that need their urgent attention. This only increases anxiety and makes the work situation worse. If you decide to clean up the house when you are late doing your taxes, you are putting off something that will cause you more stress in the future.
These kinds of distractions can be found in all areas of life. In relationships, we may do something fun together to help us forget unresolved issues or we may fight about irrelevant issues instead of facing the elephant in the room. I had one case of a man who kept himself busy doing all kinds of easy things to feel busy but not addressing urgent issues with customers. He then wondered why he had trouble sleeping at night with thoughts of the unresolved issues. Sometimes the actions we take are the distraction.
The bandaid approach is one I encourage to a lot of people who put off difficult tasks and distract themselves with less urgent or unimportant tasks. If you peel off a bandaid slowly it is always more painful than one quick action. When something makes you feel uncomfortable deal with that first. If you get the most stressful or uncomfortable things out of the way as quickly as you can you can release a lot of pressure.
Getting over the mental hurdle to do the hard things first can be difficult until you develop the right mindset. I take cold showers in the morning. Overcoming the mental barrier to do something uncomfortable like a cold shower is the same as anything else you want to tackle. Since I have decided I want to commit to cold showers I don’t question the decision before my shower. Once you decide to do something don’t question it or even stop to think about it. This does not apply to everything in life but for those things you are very clear on and are not dangerous only uncomfortable, this is a good approach. Once you get into the habit of taking actions that resolve your most difficult or most important tasks first you won’t need to take actions that are actually distractions. Living this way lowers stress and increases happiness.
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