We often change when suffering pushes us to do so or when life forces us out of our comfort zone. Illness may cause us to change our lifestyle or losing a long-held position at work may cause us to rethink what we want to do with our lives. Often such sudden changes can be jarring leading to psychological suffering. They can lead to stressful life circumstances. In some cases, change may have been overdue and if we had recognised this we could have saved ourselves some hardship.
Work and relationships are two situations we can get stuck in, but we can become complacent in many areas of our lives. When you start to see consistent signs that the current situation you are in does not make you happy start to reflect and consider if a change could be beneficial. However, start with gratitude. Appreciate everything you have experienced and what it has taught you. Then look forward and consider where this path is leading you. When you admit it is time for a change without disparaging where you are in life you can move forward in a positive way without fear-based choices.
Fear often causes us to run away from or choose the opposite of our current situation. When you pursue what you want instead of avoiding what you don’t want the chances of a positive outcome will increase. Our experience can teach us a lot including an understanding of what we want but what we run away from will not lead us closer to what we want. It is only when we pursue what we want without the influence of our fears that our choices can be informed by our passions and what we are intuitively drawn to.
People come to coaching to get support in their change process. In my coaching practice, I take a systemic approach which requires you to take a step back on look a things more holistically. From there we look at certain elements of your life more closely, looking at situations from different perspectives and recognising the connections and relationships between different parts of your life; your system. Taking a systemic approach can be very helpful in assessing the need for change and the effects it may have on future outcomes.
Remember that most people seek a kind of homeostasis in their lives. Familiarity feels more comfortable and secure. However, if we ignore the signs that one way or another change will come we can be proactive and create change on our own terms. I am not prescribing change for the sake of change. I am suggesting a higher awareness of where your current path is leading you. When we choose to change rather than waiting for life to force change upon us we will live a more empowered and self-directed life. These are qualities that contribute to authentic happiness.
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