Happy New Year everyone! To close the year I wrote about presence and the need for spending more time in the moment. Today in my first post of 2020 I would like to continue that thought by encouraging a more awareness in the moment…
Do you ever feel that life is passing you by? Why do you think this is? For most people, it is because we live life in routines and habitual behaviours that happen unconsciously. Meanwhile, our minds are busy creating stories from the things we have experienced and the expectations we have about the future. Most of us are so wrapped up in our own thoughts, fears, judgements, and expectations that we lose sight of the life that is right before our eyes.
In his 2005 commencement speech, David Foster Wallace shares a parable that goes like this: There are these two young fish swimming along and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way, who nods at them and says "Morning, boys. How's the water?" And the two young fish swim on for a bit, and then eventually one of them looks over at the other and goes "What the hell is water?” We often live our lives missing what is all around us in every moment. We do not stop to notice the difference between the story in our heads; that narration that accompanies our every waking minute, and the nuanced details of what is going on in any given moment.
It is difficult to be grateful and appreciate life if you don’t notice what you have to be grateful for. And it is difficult to recognise what you want to change or what is causing your unhappiness if you are too immersed in your own story rather than experiencing the moments of your life. This is the kind of awareness I am talking about and I believe David Foster Wallace shared this sentiment when he talked about an: awareness of what is so real and essential, so hidden in plain sight all around us, all the time, that we have to keep reminding ourselves over and over: "This is water. This is water.”
Wallace gives advice that is probably better than any I could give on this subject. He encourages us to recognise that we have a choice. He reminds us that we can choose how to see the world. We can choose our default settings where we focus on our inner dramas, fears and frustrations disconnected from the actual events going on around us. Or we can pay more attention, judge less and experience more of what life has to offer. I encourage you to reflect on your thoughts, criticisms and judgements and look beyond them to see what you may be missing in any given moment. Those are the moments when you will find authentic happiness.
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