We often don’t realise the negative words we use or the statements we make. In some coaching sessions I will point out to a client something negative they have said and then we will explore the negative thoughts and beliefs that may be behind such statements. I use this same process with myself and this feedback leads me to greater awareness.
I have a perfect example of this from this past week. I was speaking to Ronell from Voxeon Communications, who is supporting my book launch. I mentioned that I had agreed to be a guest on a podcast which uses a bit of a gimmick to attract listeners and found myself trying to justify my participation by saying “Well beggars can’t be choosers.” Ronell turned the tables and coached me through this negative statement. She said: “When you get approached by someone that believes your book and experience has relevance to their podcast see it as the opportunity to reach diverse audiences globally.” This was great feedback and caused me to reflect.
What did my statement really mean? On the surface, I may have felt that considering all the demands on my time, I needed to justify taking part in a podcast that didn’t seem as serious as the others I have been doing. As I took time to reflect I discovered more. I have spent more than 10 years coaching and writing a blog without ever doing much to promote myself and yet I’ve still been successful. With the recent podcast interviews and book promotions that have been happening, I am going outside my comfort zone. New experiences sometimes trigger old fears. Despite so many years of experience and success, somewhere in my unconscious lingered old fears about not being good enough; perhaps a touch of imposter syndrome. Ronell’s feedback helped me realise these outdated fears about being rejected as an author and a coach.
This is an important reminder to use the feedback you get relating to your words and actions so you can recognise the negative thoughts and beliefs that may be driving you. It can happen to all of us. You can then look for the resources you need to move to improve. Remember, you can’t believe everything you think and getting some support to reflect on your thoughts and beliefs can be very helpful. Awareness allows change!
As it turned out I had a great time on that podcast, met other interesting guests, and was able to reach an audience I probably would never otherwise have spoken to. Thanks, Ronell!
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